Bitcoin – currency made for the internet age!

PayPal – instant money transfers to anyone!

Venmo – immediately pay other people!

Coinbase – buy and sell bitcoins instantly!

Bullshit. All of it.

I got a coinbase account so I could get some coins – “instantly”. But first, of course, you need to link it to an actual bank account. So you provide the information to verify your checking and routing numbers…wait 3 days. Two deposits of a few cents made and withdrawn, you use those numbers to verify.

Okay, that took a few days, but hey at least its done, right? Not yet. Then you purchase the bitcoins, and wait…. SEVEN DAYS! That’s right. I bought 200$ worth on May 19. “Estimated delivery on 5/26”. Thanks! By the way, they somehow figured out how to successfully withdraw the 200 from my checking account in 3 days. Actually giving me what I paid for (“instantly!”) somehow takes an extra few days.

Paying back a friend via the Venmo app? Sure. Same routine, have to verify the checking account first. So when a friend buys Eagles tickets and you owe him 85 bucks, no problem. You can “instantly” pay him back… SEVEN DAYS LATER! Thanks Venmo!

Someone owe you money? Cool, I also have PayPal, so all they have to do is PayPal it to me. They can send the “confirmation of payment” email within just minutes. But the part where they actually transfer the money from PayPal into my checking account? You guessed it – SEVEN DAYS!

So while paying, buying, selling, etc. on the internet can be convenient, don’t believe any of this bullshit about it being “instantaneous”. It isn’t. It takes days to even establish the accounts in the first place, and the only thing that seems to happen quickly is the part where they get their money. For the people whose money it is? More like a week. This is also known as False Advertising.